


I Hate You(So It Must be True Love)

by mothergoose



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Abusive Relationship, Mentions of verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 10:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2147106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothergoose/pseuds/mothergoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was terrible how this all seemed so normal to him now."</p><p>RusAme with brotherly CanAme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate You(So It Must be True Love)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Pink's song "True Love". I think it fits RusAme pretty well!

Matt walked swiftly from his kitchen back into the living room carrying two cups of coffee. The whole apartment was quiet save for the furious ‘tap, tap’ that was coming from Al’s fingertips and the occasional angry muttering that emerged from his throat. Placing the one blue colored mug onto the coffee table in front of his brother, Matthew settled into the old corduroy armchair that sat adjacent to the sofa, readying himself for the verbal and emotional onslaught that was sure to come. He didn’t have to wait very long; Alfred closed his phone with and loud snap and tossed it onto the sofa before grabbing a pillow, burying his face into it. Matthew watched him with patient eyes, taking a slow sip of coffee. It was terrible how this all seemed so normal to him now. 

At the sound of Matthew putting his cup on the table Alfred’s face reappeared from behind the pillow and exclaimed loudly, “He’s such an ass, Matt, I can hardly fucking stand him sometimes, Jesus Christ!” Matthew sighed and rubbed his nose absently; his nose piece left a bright red mark on his pale skin. 

“What happened this time?” The elder sibling asked, knowing that the answer was going to be a slew of curse words and 1950’s lingo. Alfred comes to his apartment like this at least once a month and when he didn’t show up in a giant huff after nearly a month and half, Matthew had honestly wondered if Alfred and Ivan had finally worked things out. Needless to say, it turned out to be wishful thinking; Two days later, Alfred was on his doorstep, dead, autumn leaves swirling about his feet and a scorching fire in his eyes over yet another argument that the couple had had. As he reached for his cup again, Matthew mused at least Al didn’t have a split lip this time. 

Snatching his cup from the table, Alfred squeezed it in his hands and groused, “I told him I wanted to see that band, you know, ‘ForeFathers’, that was coming to the arena in a couple months and he told me that I had the shittiest taste in music. Me!” He looked as though he was trying to strangle his mug. “And then I asked him if he’d been day drinking again, cuz he always acts like an ass when he’s drunk, and he was like ‘Really, this again?’ and I was like ‘Well it wouldn’t be the first time!’ And then-”

“And then he said something about your habits and you called him like a Commie or something and you both started swearing at each other?” Alfred stared at Matthew with a hurt expression to which Matthew just rolled his eyes. “You guys have a pattern, it’s not like this is anything new.” His brother just gaped at him and started to protest but Matthew beat him to it. “Did anyone get hurt?”

“No, but-”

“But?”

Alfred shifted in his seat, looking at least a little guilty. “I may or may not have poured all his vodka into the sink.” Sitting up straighter, he asserted, “He totally deserved it though! Fucking drunk.” 

Matthew let his face fall into his hands with a defeated sigh. Honestly, how did these two even manage to stay together, let alone live under one roof? He remembered when they first started dating. They had gone to the same college as one another, both taking similar classes in Physics and Astronomy and it was(as Alfred gushed later on) an instant connection. It wasn’t long before they were dating regularly. When Alfred had excitedly introduced Ivan to Matthew, Matt honestly thought the young Russian would be good for Alfred. Alfred, who had a temper and rebellious streak a mile wide and who was a tad sensitive on the best of days. Ivan was calm, cheerful, and loving, everything that Matthew could want for his brother. That is until they got into their first fight. 

Ivan, it turned out, was just as vicious in an argument as Alfred could be. In fact, there were several occasions where Matthew was called because Alfred had locked himself in the bathroom, sobbing his eyes out over something that Ivan had said. Or Ivan had stormed out to cry at his sister’s house, detailing his plight over ‘that American pig’(Matthew and Yekaterina tried to keep in touch about their younger siblings. it helped to have an ally in all the turbulence). Each had thrown the other out of the apartment several dozen times screaming that this was It, the absolute end of their relationship, only to show up with flowers or chocolate or, more commonly, soft hugs and promises of change. Matthew couldn’t count how many times they had actually broken up over the course of four years. The longest they’d ever stayed apart was four months and during that time Ivan started dating a mutual friend of theirs, some Lithuanian exchange student. From what Matthew had heard, whenever Ivan got mad at Toris, the other would just back down quickly and give in, a little terrified. And when Toris told Alfred he wanted to break it off with Ivan, Alfred had shown up at Ivan’s dorm, grabbed Ivan by the lapels, snarled, “You’re mine, fuckface”, and kissed him so hard Ivan walked around with a dazed grin on his face for days. They were together ever since, for better or for worse. 

“Uh Matt? Are you even listening, bro?” Matthew blinked a few times, having totally zoned out from Alfred’s little rant. He rubbed at his eyes, pushing his glasses up to his forehead. 

Threading his fingers together, Matthew frowned at his sibling. He was so exasperated with the two of them. This had to end. “Al, why won’t you two just call it quits?” Alfred looked indignant but Matthew gave him a hard Look and continued, “I know. You love him, he’s your soul mate, all that romancy shit. But you guys have gotten violent before-”

“That was one time!”

“-and I hate, **hate** , seeing you like this.” His brother had fallen silent, staring into the murky dredges of his coffee. Matt smiled softly and leaned forward, prying one of Alfred’s hands loose and grasping it gently, setting the mug aside. Matthew wanted to be gentle and coo that it would be alright but this time he needed to be firm. Enough was enough. He pushed on, softer this time. “Your relationship is what many people would consider abusive Al. It’s not healthy. For either of you.” 

The room was quiet and so Alfred’s strained response was impossible to miss. 

“I know.” The two words trembled and swayed, a fragile certainty. Alfred hiccupped and Matthew made a soft ‘oh’ before moving quickly to the couch. The younger blond had tilted his head back , blinking several times to keep shiny tears at bay. Matthew watched as Alfred took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down and not burst. Alfred really was so ugly and heart wrenching to look at when he cried. 

Rubbing his nose, Alfred set his mug down and turned to face his brother. Taking another deep breath, he said again, “I know. I know how we are. Do you think we’re fucking blind Matt? Ivan… and me… we’re terrible. We fight and we fuck and we shout and tear each other apart and it’s so bad sometimes that I can’t help but scream into a pillow so the Goddamn neighbors don’t think I’m being fucking murdered. I know. But,” And there was that sudden fondness on Alfred’s face that Matthew knew his brother must be thinking of Ivan, Ivan the Kind instead of Ivan the Terrible, as he laughed, “I know you say that being in love with Ivan and dealing with this bullshit is like actual bullshit, but. God. Matt.” Alfred’s eyes shone even with tears still clinging to his lashes, a smile widening across his face. “You don’t know him like I do. You don’t know **us** like we do. You don’t know what it’s like to hold his hand in the park when we get ice cream. Or what it’s like to get some little Sticky note in your lunch with some crappy pick-up line on it. What it’s like to carry him three miles because he sprained his ankle running and he’s all embarrassed or, or when he brings you toast and let’s you watch cartoons all day because your sick. There are days in the winter when it’s cold and he comes in with that stupid pink scarf of his and his face all red and all I can think is ‘Goddamn, I love him’.” Alfred looked Matt straight in the eye as if daring his brother to question him. “I love him so much. And even though we’re so fucked up it’s not even funny, when we make up he holds me like I’m the most important thing in the Goddamn world.” Cheeks flaring red, Alfred fiddled with the string of his hoodie. “And I hold him back.”

Matthew ducked his head a bit, not meeting his brother’s eyes. He knew that Alfred had said he loved Ivan before but… Damn. This emotion, this statement, was intense and frankly terrifying. What was this, some terrible romance movie where the protagonists declare their love for one another and ride off into the sunset? Matthew has seen the love between the two. The moments when they all went to the beach and Al tried(and failed) to get Ivan to come into the water with him, at last Thanksgiving when Ivan refused to get up because Alfred had fallen asleep on him because he had been working _so hard_ lately. When Alfred was doing dishes and Ivan looked at him so fondly that it made Matt’s heart ache in the best ways. But seeing the ways that they tore each other apart with words and vicious glares wasn’t good. They couldn’t go on this way forever. 

Another sigh escaped Matthew, as he leaned back into the couch cushions, Alfred’s eyes trained on him. The silence in the room was heavy, oppressive almost. Matthew found it hard to breathe and even harder to think. Still, he could see a light at the end of this long, long tunnel. Slowly, as though Alfred were some animal that he was trying not to spook, the elder sibling pressed, “If you really love him and he still wants to be with you,” He ignored Alfred’s distressed expression, “Then you both need to go see somebody. Anybody. Couples therapy, anger management, a psychologist…” He turned back towards Alfred, face serious and set. “If you don’t, I’m not letting you come back here.” 

Alfred stared at him, face pale and eyes bright, before a small smile made his way across his lips. “Damn, Mattie, you can really lay it on thick can’tcha? You’re so serious.” 

The elder’s lips trembled before they, too, broke into a grin. “I have to be to get through your thick skull. Can you blame me for coming down hard?” And instantly the weighted atmosphere disappeared, the apartment becoming a warm home again. Matthew rubbed his face and moaned, “You two are gonna make me go bald early. Or at least go grey!” 

His brother just laughed loudly as Matthew collected their coffee cups, saying, “Hey, you’d look distinguished! You should be thanking me!” Matthew just stuck his tongue out at him, heading back to the kitchen. The whole apartment chimed suddenly, the doorbell ringing loudly. Matthew heard Alfred get up from the couch and head to the front foyer and he shook his head. _Honestly_ , he thought, opening the dishwasher, _they have a pattern_. The door opened and he heard Alfred softly, tiredly greet, “Hey…”

As he loaded the dishwasher, Matthew tried to eavesdrop on the conversation and convinced himself that he shouldn’t feel too guilty listening in. He heard a mumbled Russian greeting and the undeniable sound of a kiss before Ivan’s softly accented voice mumbled out an apology. He sounded bashful and genuine, something that Matthew truly believed Ivan to be. Alfred was quiet while Ivan talked and Matthew could hear the nerves in Alfred’s voice as he said, “Hey let’s go outside for a sec. I think we really need to talk…”

“Yes,” assented Ivan, “I think so too.”

The door clicked shut and Matthew smiled knowingly.


End file.
